MONICA MATEI
Clinical psychologist and
Adlerian psychotherapist
Grieving the loss of a pet
Love for a pets is genuine and unconditional, which is why their loss can be one of the most painful emotional experiences.
Even if the world around you doesn't always understand, grieving for a pet is not "lesser" and it's not exaggerated . It wasn't just a dog or just a cat. It was family and a meaningful part of your life. It was unconditional love.
In my practice, I offer:
A safe space
For your rhythm, for tears, guilt, regret or helplessness
Emotional support
in finding meaning and rebuilding life after loss
Empathy and accompaniment
for the moments when it seems like no one can understand you
What is grief after losing a pet?
Grief is the natural response to a significant loss. When a pet dies, we lose not only a physical presence, but a relationship of deep attachment ,built day by day, sometimes for years.
Mourning may include:
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Deep sadness and frequent crying
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Intense longing and a feeling of emptiness
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Guilt, thoughts like"I should have done more"
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Anger (at self, at others, or at life)
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Anxiety, restlessness
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Emotional numbness
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Repetitive thoughts about the loss
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Difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, confusion
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Unanswered questions like "Why did it happen?"
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Extreme fatigue, lack of energy
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Sleep or appetite disorders
These are all normal reactions to a significant loss.
Why does it hurt so much?
The bond between humans and pets means:
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unconditional acceptance
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constant presence and security
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emotional support and regulation
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anchoring in the present and the joy of small moments
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a deep sense of belonging
From the perspective of Adlerian psychotherapy, loss breaks an essential bond of belonging and continuity. There is nothing exaggerated in the intensity of the pain, it is quite natural to hurt.
When the pain is not acknowledged, we speak of disenfrachised grief
After losing a pet, many people struggle with the feeling that their pain is not understood by others and quietly suffer. You may have heard lines like:
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"It was just an animal, you're exaggerating."
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"Let it go"
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"Just get another pet"
Even well-intentioned, these messages can amplify shame, feelings of isolation and suffering.
When grief is not acknowledged, it is experienced in silence.
In psychotherapy, pain is acknowledged, honored, and contained.
Common emotions in this type of mourning
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Intense sadness and longing
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Love and gratitude
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Guilt, especially after euthanasia
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Anger
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Fear of forgetting
There is no one right or linear way to grieve. Each process is unique.
When psychological or
emotional support can be useful
Psychological support can be helpful if:
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the pain is overwhelming
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you feel stuck in suffering
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guilt doesn't give you peace
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you feel like no one understands you
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the loss reactivates older suffering
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daily life becomes difficult to manage
Asking for support is an act of courage and caring for yourself.
How can Adlerian Psychotherapy help with loss?
The Adlerian approach emphasizes:
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the meaning of suffering
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attachment relationships
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belonging
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rebuilding the meaning of life after loss
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continuity of the inner connection
We don't rush the process or force healing. We create a space where pain can be experienced and integrated.
You don't have to go through this alone.
If you feel you need emotional support, you are welcome to contact me.
If you feel the need to understand more about grief after pet loss, you can find more information in the Resources section or read the dedicated articles on pet grief in the blog section of this site.
Your pain deserves to be listened to and accompanied with compassion.