Community feeling and generosity

Surprised by a timid knock at the door, on the morning of March 1st, I opened the door and was greeted by a smiling little boy who wished me a beautiful spring and handed me a ”mărțișor”(traditional Romanian spring charm). I thought it was a lovely gesture, so I gave him a hug to thank him, and he cheerfully went off to knock on another door to give another ”mărțișor”.

That morning, I kept thinking about the little boy... how he chose to share joy, despite his familiy having financial troubles, and this thought reminded me of several situations in which I was surprised by the generosity and warmth of people who, although they were not in a very good financial situation, gave wholeheartedly. How, for example, can an old woman on a minimum pension make doughnuts for the children on the street? Is there a psychological explanation for this behavior?

People who come from lower social classes know what it means to not have much but to appreciate what they do have. They know what suffering means, but they can still greet each day with hope. They also know how to live in the moment and enjoy the little things that bring joy to their lives. The environment in which they live and their experiences have made them particularly empathetic, more attentive to others, understanding of compassion, living in the present moment, appreciating what they receive, and giving back with love. The living conditions of the lower social class give rise to what, in psychology, is called "contextualist social cognitive tendencies"—the orientation and focus on external forces and other people who influence one's life (Kraus et al., 2012).

On the other hand, the elite of society prioritise the individual, with people being more future-oriented than present-oriented, free to pursue their personal interests without being so concerned about costs. These people tend to have "solipsistic tendencies" - an individualistic orientation towards the environment, motivated by internal states, goals, and emotions, solipsism being defined as "an idealistic-subjective philosophical conception according to which the only reality is the self, individual consciousness, the entire external world existing only in this consciousness."

So, the explanation comes from understanding people's social context. However, regardless of whether we come from a more or less privileged social background, wouldn't it be better for us and society to treat others with compassion and kindness, to be more generous, and to enjoy the small pleasures of life?

Alfred Adler (Austrian physician and psychotherapist) spoke about Social Interest—a sense of community, concern for the community and its well-being, through which the individual can fulfill their true human potential. Every person is part of a social community and every person has a need to belong, and the feeling of belonging contributes to the development of a sense of self-worth, the goal of contributing, positive human relationships, trust, and cooperation with others.

By contributing to the good of others, we develop self-confidence, the courage to solve problems and try new things, the ability to adapt to life's challenges, and we do not waste our energy trying to prove our worth or demonstrate that we are good enough. Thus, when we act in ways that contribute to the human community, we feel more fulfilled and also contribute to our psychological well-being.