Understanding internalized misogyny and toxic masculinity

Some music videos and the messages they convey can generate heated discussions and differences of opinion. One such example is a video by a singer, which, through its message, nudity, and direct language, has sparked mixed reactions. On the one hand, it is seen as a manifesto, a cry against violence against women, while on the other hand, it is criticized for its methods of expression. That song not only generated a wave of controversy, but also encouraged many women to come forward and share their experiences. Although the song's message refers to misogyny and society's alienation from an obvious reality, not all women resonated with it, and among the criticisms levelled by some women, a phenomenon deeply rooted in a patriarchal society stands out: internalised misogyny.

What exactly is internalized misogyny?

We speak of internalized misogyny when women subconsciously project sexist ideas onto other women and even onto themselves.

Internalized misogyny refers to the negative beliefs and attitudes that some women may adopt towards themselves and other women as a result of the influence of social norms, gender stereotypes, and cultural expectations. It can take various forms, from harsh criticism of other women who do not conform to certain standards, to self-criticism for not meeting those same standards. A central aspect of internalized misogyny is the conflict between the desire for autonomy and free expression and the pressure to conform to traditional gender norms.

When a woman chooses to express herself in a provocative or unconventional way, as in the case of the video in question, she may become the target of criticism, not only from men but also from other women. This reaction often reflects the internal tensions experienced by women caught between the desire to be authentic and the need for social acceptance.

Recognizing internalized misogyny requires introspection and awareness of the ways in which society has shaped our perceptions of gender and gender roles. Some signs of this phenomenon may include:

• Harsh criticism of other women for their life choices or manner of expression

• The feeling that you must compete with other women for attention or validation

• Self-criticism for not meeting standards of beauty, traditional family, or success

• Feeling that you must behave in a certain way to be accepted or respected

Alongside internalized misogyny, toxic masculinity is another term that has gained traction in recent years.

Toxic masculinity refers to the encouragement of behaviors and attitudes among men that emphasize aggression, dominance, suppression of emotions, and avoidance of any behavior considered traditionally feminine, discouraging vulnerability, emotional expression, and empathy.

In a society that promotes these stereotypes, men may feel that they are not allowed to express vulnerability or emotions, which can lead to isolation, stress, and even mental health problems. Furthermore, toxic masculinity is a factor that contributes to the perpetuation of violence and sexism, a cycle of misunderstanding and distancing between people that prevents the development of authentic and healthy relationships.

Understanding and overcoming internalized misogyny and toxic masculinity requires deep reflection, without judging ourselves. It is important to recognize and value the diversity of other people's experiences and perspectives, to support each other in our efforts to express ourselves freely.

Each of us has a unique story and a different path to follow, so before criticizing or judging, it might be helpful to ask ourselves:

• What does our reaction say about our own beliefs and how we have internalized society's norms?

• How can we contribute to creating a more inclusive and safer society?

In conclusion, when faced with artistic expressions that use licentious language and explicit images, it is important to cultivate openness to understanding before resorting to harsh criticism. Even if the mode of expression may be vulgar or shocking, it may conceal an intention to draw attention to serious issues, such as violence against women, a phenomenon that is still too widespread in our society. The choice of unconventional means of expression can be a cry for help or an attempt to break the silence and indifference surrounding these sensitive topics.

Therefore, before criticizing, it might be a good idea to ask ourselves what message is a person trying to convey, to explore the context and depth of the issue at hand.